Love is the only common language every creature on earth know how to speak it, and It’s the only language we as creatures don’t need to study it or have a manual to guide us towards “how to learn it”.
Over the centuries, Love is being simply demonstrated in the context of poetry, songs, love stories, and plays. and it seems stories have the best preference in conveying this attribute, as the stories can live through centuries, to never be forgotten, and to be carried from one generation to another, for instance, in the western world this can be known as a popular play by William Shakespeare, called Romeo and Juliet, likewise Arab world too has several stories demonstrate love, lived for many centuries and still live, example for that, Layla and Majnun story, although people wouldn’t like to go through such an experience which those stories mentioned it, and yet, people seem extremely enjoying read these stories though, as love represented No.1 the most important aspect of their lives.
Now, being in a such society, where love defined as a basic root to get into a relationship with someone else, or to improve what is already a person has, It’s clearly important if one wants to conduct such an attribute, there must be another person get involved to complete the picture, because love simply can’t be found if no one share you this feeling, whether as a friend, a lover, a husband or a wife, or anything.
The question here is what if a person loves oneself? What we can call it then?
There’re a largely series of events happened in 1563, as this date, while I was reading the most important events happened at that time, revealed to me it represented the first emergence of self-love concept, after that, came world war II which had been already managed to steal from people who witnessed it their confidence for building a more fulfilling and prosperity life after they left vulnerable and unable to continue living their lives, when they doubted their abilities to survive again through this hardship, and it seemed this concept promoted to give them the sense of being alive again and the ability to start over from the scratch after the devastating consequences of the war.
These we call it, protests took a procedure in lots of countries, and it was initially started to end the war as a primary mission then promoted as a hidden mission to encourage people to trust themselves in order to build a brighter future and positively changing the environment where they live in. Because it turned out to them no one can live through these damaging conditions without being doomed.
Next came another popular event which took place in 1960s, this event hasn’t been important for all people except for a group called themselves Hippie or hippy, they are a group of youth violated the basic rules of their societies to build theirs owns, for instance, they have special music to listen to which called it psychedelic music, encouraged the sexual revolution, what’s more, they used drugs such as marijuana, LSD, etc. to help them to be conscious. Now, apparently this movement used self-love firstly, to promote their movement and most all to encourage themselves to live their life without the need of others people around them, and that means they had to accept themselves while doing these unacceptable behaviors that all the societies around the world execrated.
Again happened a life-changing event, which created another reflection, people used it to view and grasp this newly invading concept with a more positive way rather than the previous view, when women started to feel the need of being recognized by the society and being equally treated as their opposite sex, they started to promote a new movement which took place in 19th century, which simply led to the emergence of the feminist movement, and they used this movement simply to fight for their rights, and to eliminate all the difficulties and struggles the societies put them through. But particularly for this movement, Self-love is played a major role in building self-confidence, and self-esteem for unseen women’s abilities by the societies. And eventually, they successfully achieved all the necessary rights they claimed to have.
on the other hand, the 1970s has been a savior years for colored people, when they started to promote equality and acceptance, for black people to live and get along with white people, and under the title of black is beautiful, they clearly want to deliver the message of being black has no effect on their personalities and confidence, and they can survive even with unacceptable, bad treatment and rejection actions from white people.
They wanted to regain their self-worth and self-esteem by loving oneself, and by valuing themselves without looking to how their color looks different from the others, after all, skin colors never define a person.
When we read all these life-event-stories which took place in the past, there are lots of meaning of self-love for each event separately, however, its purpose clearly kept the same along those events,
But it conveys the meaning of appreciation and valuing oneself in order to reflect that on the other aspects of one life.
what’s important here though without this concept, a person can’t see himself deserve anything in life, this negatively view can lead to a serious consequences by oneself, According to the American Association of Suicidology, when they revealed the number of people who committed suicides in 2015 and soon they discovered that this a huge rate of suicides, is mostly had been affected by low self-esteem and lack of self-love, Also they summarized the definition of self-love as being
“beliefs about oneself (self-based self-esteem) and beliefs about how other people regard oneself (other-based self-esteem)”.
another action had been taken to positively change the poorly and darkly view of self-love by Eric Fromm when he first started to fix the concept of self-love by addressing in his book ” The Art of loving” dated back in 1956 saying
in order to be able to truly love another person, a person first needs to love oneself in the way of respecting oneself and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one’s strengths and weaknesses).
In a similar way, movements toward correcting the wrong idea about self-love are greatly increased by many individuals like Erik H. Erikson when wrote in 1964 a post-narcissistic appreciation of the value of the ego. In fact, self-love in early first discovered had been used as therapy to regain a comfortable life by someone being proud of being oneself.
Another great definition has been discovered by A.P Gregg and C. Sedikides in 2003 as
“referring to a person’s subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative”.
however, you can grasp self-love when William James put it accurately in a theory and Robert H. Wozniak later demonstrated this theory by measuring self-esteem which is self-love in disguise
“… three different but interrelated aspects of self: the material self (all those aspects of material existence in which we feel a strong sense of ownership, our bodies, our families, our possessions), the social self (our felt social relations), and the spiritual self (our feelings of our own subjectivity)”.
there had been and still, a fine line between self-love and selfishness or egotism which led to confusingly perceived self-love in people’s eyes, started when Cicero claimed those who love themselves are the failure. Moreover, Augustine considered that the sin of pride was only a perversion of a normal, more modest degree of self-love.
Creating a bridge where you can start building a fresh relationship between you and yourself
Self-love is a giving attribute, it will never come to an end, and you will never feel full, when I looked up the meaning of it in The Merriam-Webster dictionary to see what’s self-love means, I read “love of self-means:
B: regard for one’s own happiness or advantage
I got back to what Francis Bacon in his support to what Cicero about self-lovers, and went to describe them as those who would burn down their own home, only to roast themselves an egg. I reach to conclude that,
Apparently what he meant those who focus on acquiring something regardless of the methods they used, whether could harm or damage others people, they are egoist or selfish, on the other hand, self-lovers are those who focus on the valuing and appreciating themselves regardless of what people have been already viewing them, or have been treating them.
Self-love is a concept that has been buried for a small, simple reason, which is an unethical attribute, led people to hide their feelings about themselves, and consider it that as a taboo, never mention it in public or speak up about it.
Happiness as a feeling can basically be generated within oneself; So when you are happy you can simply channel it to other people. Also, happiness is a choice and it’s a lifestyle through which you demonstrate your behaviors towards yourself and the others, likewise loving oneself can be manifested in lots of areas of one’s life, social life can be at the top of them.
self-love is treating oneself as a human being, and it’s the acceptance of oneself with what one has and has not, accept of oneself both in their fail times or wins times. Those definitions of self-love have led me to ask a more crucial and profound question which is
how one feels rejected by oneself can seek acceptance from the others?